EDIT: I thought Richard knew about it and just hadn't told me...He did not. Not his fault. Not pissed off anymore.

I have decided, this is the last time that this happens.

The next time that I have to explain to a small boy why he can't have lekkers, because I didn't know I needed to buy treats for him today. Why he only has a normal lunch, when all the other kids will have special lunches because there's nothing else in the house that he can take with him to school that the teachers wont take away from him (because I didn't know I needed them today).

Only to find out that not only is today a special fun day for him at school that he has only a half day of school today which means I have to rearrange everything that I had PLANNED for the day because now I can't do them because I'll have a small boy pestering me... So now i have to get all my errands run before 1:00 because thats when he gets off of school, and I Didn't know. Noone told me!

The NEXT time it happens Mommy goes on strike. I AM TIRED OF ALWAYS BEING THE BAD GUY!!!
Argh!

They don't celebrate thanksgiving here. It's impossible to get turkey (at least the kind of turkey I want) for anything but christmas it seems. Tonight we go over to his mothers house for dinner with the family, so that is good at least.

But I have my little family and I suppose that is enough. All you really ever need is someone to love you. Even if you only ever have 1. I know that more than one person loves me, even if most of them don't ever say it or show it.

On the update side of things: Fighting with boy every morning is wearing on my nerves. When he woke up this morning with a very angry "wat nu?!" (what now?!) I almost screamed at him. Instead, I said nothing, went downstairs and had a bananna to not kill him. I had to drag him physically out of bed yesterday and tell him he could go to school in his underwear if he didn't get dressed. Step mommy is tired. Very tired indeed. She is VERY much looking forward to Christmas break- with no fighting from boy. Only fighting with husband. Kidding. But at least if and when we fight it's adult fighting and about things that can be resolved. How do you get into an 8 year old mind and make it Think? It feels a lot like he doesn't know how.

Guess what happens if you fall asleep with your loved one still awake? That's right... He hijacks your LJ and posts an update under your name.

So, we travelled to the US. And what fun we had. Getting out of bed at 5 am on Saturday morning sucks. More so when you really didn't get any sleep during the night. Then, after Charles dropped us off at the station, we couldn't buy our train tickets. The infernal machine would not accept the creditcard it was offered. Nor did it want the bankcard. So Charles ends up buying our tickets for us, bless him. We end up missing the train we wanted to get, but eh... The next one still got us to schiphol well in time. So, we check in and at the planned time of 11:45 am on Saturday morning we depart AMS. Boy's first flight ever. The accelleration is accompanied by an 'ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod' followed by a 'squeeee' when the big bird leaves terra-firma and reaches for the clouds.
A short hop later we find ourself at London Heathrow where we have to take the bus to get to the terminal where we will be leaving for the long flight to LAX. Almost 3 hours later we can board the next flight for the second part of out journey. No window seats this time. We're on a tripple-7 and occupy the left to center chairs of the middle row of seats. This flight will take us all the way to Los Angeles, an eleven-plus hour flight. Oh joy. The flight is made even longer by a bored boy who simply refuses to get some sleep. This resulted in neither Diane nor me getting any sleep ourselves.
Then, finally we make it to the land of Hollywood, moviestars and makebelieve where we get split up. Diane, still officially a US resident will take a different route through customs and is grilled about the many countries she visited since she left the US. Me and Collin, the foreigners, take another tour and are grilled about the reason of our visit. Papers and bags are double, tripple and quadruple-checked. When US customs finally is satisfied we get to pass and meet up with eachother again. Then it's time to pick up our luggage and meet up with Diane's father who flew in from Chicago just an hour earlier.

It is safe to say thet by this time we're all very tired. It is therefor a good thing that we can head on over to the hotel where we will be staying. It is now about 9 pm local time. That makes it 4 am CET. Almost 24 hours after we got up to start this journey. Yes, we were very happy to climb into a nice soft bed.

That about concludes our first day here. You'll be hearing from me or the rightfull owner of this here blog soon. For now, I bid you a good night.

Love,

Dutch-Ditch

It's been wonderful and frustrating all in the same attractive package that I fell for so long ago.

Boy is putting me through my paces, in a contest of wills much like the one I had with my mother. It is quite reminicient of me in grade and high school. Truly I need to not lose this contest of wills but, I also need to not react badly to it. I'm not as of yet sure how to do that, but I haven't really yelled at him yet. I hope I never get to that point. It is VERY frustrating though, trying to get an 8 year old to do something that he doesn't really want to do.

I just don't understand where the wonderful loving child goes when I ask him to do something. I don't know what to do about it either. I'm not very good at this whole parenting thing, especially when he knows very well that I am not his mother. I don't want to be his mother, but I am not sure that I can be his friend and have him listen to me. I wish someone could tell me how to do it but I know that I just have to figure it out for myself.

I'm only 10 days in, I know it will get better.
He's going to be a very unhappy boy when his father gets home.

June 2nd.
It was cool, and drizzley and I was looking out the window at the city of Amsterdam. The gentle rocking of the boat put me at ease and was quickly rocking me to sleep. We had been walking about Amsterdam all day and it is a city of beauty beyond measure. But just shy of Midnight the city took on new meaning for me as dutch_ditch asked me to marry him. 8 hours before I had to leave him behind.

http://dutch-ditch.livejournal.com/36241.html

I am back in the United States. I do not want to be here. I almost laughed when the Customs and Immigration officer said "Welcome home"...

I got to my parents house and after dinner crashed hard. I would have rather crashed in my home, but it will be months till I am home again. My little house with the green door...with all the orange pennons all around. (okay those PROBABLY won't be there when I return but...) All I have is a new teddy bear that smells like him, and all the memories we made while in Oldenzaal, Enschede, and Amsterdam.

I had this crazy dream...I was on this boat with someone handsome...

Alright you get a brief update...Yay for updates.

I'm kind of an unhappy kitty, but as my house is awash in a sea of drying laundry that the laundromat didn't dry all the way I have reason to be. *shakes fist* Stoopid dryers. I made myself a nest of miscelanious sheets and blankets to sleep in, since all my bedding is in the wet laundry catagory.

Finals left a lot to be desired. Having 4 in one day is not something I would like to repeat ever. Not that I'l have to since I'm not taking any more classes for a long time. On the first two (A&P Lecture and Lab) I did rather well, I believe I ended up with an A in Anatomy and Physiology. I was not well prepared but I was prepared. My third final, my EMT-I practical Exam, was in the middle of the night for someone working on the night shift. It was the equivalent of getting up at 2 am for a regular person to take a final. I was all scrambled and Way intimidated by my test proctor, and I did not pass it, since it was pass fail. I get one more chance to retake it, on the Tuesday the 27th at 1PM. So everyone think good thoughts for me.
I WILL pass it.

I have only a few more days of work and then I get to go and be with my sweetie for 5 days. I REALLY cannot wait for Wednesday/Thursday. Wheehah.

Oh RIchard, I'm sorry I keep falling asleep on you baby...I was really trying to stay awake. Oh, and you really shouldn't let the boy surprise me like that when you know I'm sleeping. You're just lucky it was cold enough that I wore pajamas to bed.

Miss it. Need it. There is no substitute for it.
August is too long of a wait.
Love you handsome.

Its been quite the day.

I walked in and there was a memo posted on the wall. Memo's are interesting, not always good but usually they involve a good deal of laughter from us and the use of the phrase "How can they be so fucking stupid?" This one however began with "I'd like to announce the promotions of..."

You guessed it ladies and gentlemen...I got promoted. I'm now unit number 13, a first shift supervisor and will fall into the rotation to give Kathy and Marsha a break just as soon as I am trained. Whee!

And then my computer crashes as Richard is leaving for the shower...and I fall asleep before I can restart it and it's just not fair. I'm sorry baby. What the hell is up with me being so fucking tired all the time? Okay thats not QUITE true...If I'm not moving i'm tired.

It's 315 in the morning and I do not know why I am awake. Yesterday or the day before when I was awake at near to this time it was because Kate was calling in her cats. Yeah, at least for that I could go right back to sleep.

I am watching 2 of my favorite people in the world. One is on the floor, playing with something noisy as young boys do. The other is in bed. I want to be in that bed curled up in his arms like I was a few days ago. I hate sleeping alone.

A bit of randomocity:
Vandaag is rood. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCti-yENAG0
It's a fucking Aldi.
The backseat....hee
Im not crying this morning. (an improvement)
No I do not remember the length of my corset lacings...sorry luv.