draconisregena: (star girl)
draconisregena ([personal profile] draconisregena) wrote2011-11-23 11:22 pm

Wishes

I wish....I wish that I didn't know the statistics for pregnancy and loss. Right now, I wish that I didn't know how difficult it is for the human body to produce and sustain a pregnancy. How many things have to go perfectly to get past even the first set of cell division, much less to grow and implant and be born. I wish that I didn't know when Day 1 of a pregnancy was so that...when I don't start my period and get all hopeful, it wasn't so crushing when I do start 3 weeks later.

I wish I wasn't having to start the whole process over again. I will take another pregnancy test before I start injecting again, but with all the bleeding I've been doing I'm expecting a negative result. I know that 30-45% of fertalized eggs never make it to a sucessful outcome. I can't ignore the statistics, it's basic biology. Right at this moment, I'd be happier being ignorant.

[identity profile] aztecknight.livejournal.com 2011-11-24 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
* hug *

You know that I am pulling for you. I will not try to offer anything else.

[identity profile] terrilyn.livejournal.com 2011-11-24 02:45 am (UTC)(link)
*hug*

It took Andrew and his wife four years... be patient!

*snugs*

[identity profile] kareina.livejournal.com 2011-11-24 07:15 am (UTC)(link)
I offer you hugs, which won't help, but it is all I can offer.

It is hard for me to read this because your feelings shine so clear, yet are so at odds with my own reaction to our world. I am one of those who, upon hearing in childhood that we were at nearly 6 billion people that it was Way Too Many (TM) and I couldn't understand then why anyone would ever wish to add even more people into the mix. Now that we have broken 7 billion I am even more mystified, yet still I see people like you who seem to want nothing more than to do just that. It is confusing and troubling to see your pain for not being able to do something I can't understand wanting. Yet I wish for you happiness and an achievement of your dreams.

[identity profile] intendent.livejournal.com 2011-11-24 01:25 pm (UTC)(link)
A patient of my FIL just had a child.. she's 45 and had to go to spain to use doner eggs :(

You'll have a baby. I know this in my heart. And I'll cuddle it and we'll all love it. <3