draconisregena: (star girl)
draconisregena ([personal profile] draconisregena) wrote2011-11-23 11:22 pm

Wishes

I wish....I wish that I didn't know the statistics for pregnancy and loss. Right now, I wish that I didn't know how difficult it is for the human body to produce and sustain a pregnancy. How many things have to go perfectly to get past even the first set of cell division, much less to grow and implant and be born. I wish that I didn't know when Day 1 of a pregnancy was so that...when I don't start my period and get all hopeful, it wasn't so crushing when I do start 3 weeks later.

I wish I wasn't having to start the whole process over again. I will take another pregnancy test before I start injecting again, but with all the bleeding I've been doing I'm expecting a negative result. I know that 30-45% of fertalized eggs never make it to a sucessful outcome. I can't ignore the statistics, it's basic biology. Right at this moment, I'd be happier being ignorant.

[identity profile] aztecknight.livejournal.com 2011-11-24 12:55 am (UTC)(link)
* hug *

You know that I am pulling for you. I will not try to offer anything else.

[identity profile] draconisregena.livejournal.com 2011-11-24 06:54 am (UTC)(link)
That last bit puzzles me.

[identity profile] aztecknight.livejournal.com 2011-11-24 11:25 am (UTC)(link)
Words. I meant that I would not try to offer any other words because there was nothing more I could say
love you