draconisregena: (If i were to die tomarrow)
EDIT: I thought Richard knew about it and just hadn't told me...He did not. Not his fault. Not pissed off anymore.

I have decided, this is the last time that this happens.

The next time that I have to explain to a small boy why he can't have lekkers, because I didn't know I needed to buy treats for him today. Why he only has a normal lunch, when all the other kids will have special lunches because there's nothing else in the house that he can take with him to school that the teachers wont take away from him (because I didn't know I needed them today).

Only to find out that not only is today a special fun day for him at school that he has only a half day of school today which means I have to rearrange everything that I had PLANNED for the day because now I can't do them because I'll have a small boy pestering me... So now i have to get all my errands run before 1:00 because thats when he gets off of school, and I Didn't know. Noone told me!

The NEXT time it happens Mommy goes on strike. I AM TIRED OF ALWAYS BEING THE BAD GUY!!!
draconisregena: (flower)
They don't celebrate thanksgiving here. It's impossible to get turkey (at least the kind of turkey I want) for anything but christmas it seems. Tonight we go over to his mothers house for dinner with the family, so that is good at least.

But I have my little family and I suppose that is enough. All you really ever need is someone to love you. Even if you only ever have 1. I know that more than one person loves me, even if most of them don't ever say it or show it.

On the update side of things: Fighting with boy every morning is wearing on my nerves. When he woke up this morning with a very angry "wat nu?!" (what now?!) I almost screamed at him. Instead, I said nothing, went downstairs and had a bananna to not kill him. I had to drag him physically out of bed yesterday and tell him he could go to school in his underwear if he didn't get dressed. Step mommy is tired. Very tired indeed. She is VERY much looking forward to Christmas break- with no fighting from boy. Only fighting with husband. Kidding. But at least if and when we fight it's adult fighting and about things that can be resolved. How do you get into an 8 year old mind and make it Think? It feels a lot like he doesn't know how.
draconisregena: (Pretty)
It's been a lousy week.
Not because of boy (though he has been a pain in the butt every once in a while), but because we've ALL been sick. Kiddo was first, getting what seems to be a variety of flu at the family reunion. I had to grab his daddy out of the food line to assist me in taking care of the poor kiddo as he was throwing up. THAT was an experience I tell you what. I should have clued in earlier that he wasn't feeling well as he was sleeping in my lap on the way in. I don't think he's ever done that before. Surprisingly though at the family reunion I found that a lot of them speak fairly good english, but I got tired of grown men leaning over to their children... Pointing at me and saying "See her, she speaks only English."
It was fun, don't get me wrong. But the gibberish of Dutch got a little overwhelming for me. I had to go escape for a while and sit and watch.

I can understand people if they speak slowly and directly to me. Sometimes I can follow the conversations going on around me. And that It would seem is damn good for someone who has only been in the country for 2 weeks. Today though, one of the mothers said that she thought I was kinda crazy,. but then she realized that I had had a fly buzz right into my face. Im not really sure what to think of that one. I think I will just leave it be.

Tomarrow I spend the afternoon with his mother... Should go well as she seems to like me.

OH! I almost forgot. They DO wear the wooden shoes here! I saw them! Someone wearing them! Squee!

I leave you with this thought.
This is not everything I thought it would be... And yet, I can find nothing wrong with it to make me think that. Odd. I'm actually happy. Who would have ever thought it.


Sep. 10th, 2008 08:45 am
draconisregena: (Default)
It's been wonderful and frustrating all in the same attractive package that I fell for so long ago.

Boy is putting me through my paces, in a contest of wills much like the one I had with my mother. It is quite reminicient of me in grade and high school. Truly I need to not lose this contest of wills but, I also need to not react badly to it. I'm not as of yet sure how to do that, but I haven't really yelled at him yet. I hope I never get to that point. It is VERY frustrating though, trying to get an 8 year old to do something that he doesn't really want to do.

I just don't understand where the wonderful loving child goes when I ask him to do something. I don't know what to do about it either. I'm not very good at this whole parenting thing, especially when he knows very well that I am not his mother. I don't want to be his mother, but I am not sure that I can be his friend and have him listen to me. I wish someone could tell me how to do it but I know that I just have to figure it out for myself.

I'm only 10 days in, I know it will get better.
He's going to be a very unhappy boy when his father gets home.
draconisregena: (Sweethearts)
2 plane rides and 12 hours later...
I was in his arms. There is joy to be found in the world, now if only I didn't have to leave.

It was not a bad flight all in all, but I have to say that Iberia has some of the best pilots that I have ever encountered. All in spanish though, with broken english bits. I was travelling completely by accident with a young woman who had odviously never been to Europe before. She was doing the whole "oh my god, noone's going to understand me, noone speaks english, oh look at the tiny cars they're so cute..." thing. It was irritating but it was cute all the same. She has no idea what she is getting into backpacking across Europe.

Doing the whole, domestic thing with the man I love was and still is wonderful. Weet je dat ik van je houd? We had a bit of alone time before we had to pick up the boy from school. He was Really happy to see me. It was really really cute. We went to Enschede for groceries and wandered around for a while. It was fun, up until Collin got lost. I did not need that blast of adrenalin on top of jet lag. It was scary, expecially when we could not find him.

Oh, and the next time he asks me to take the boy to school...He WILL provide directions. THere will be none of this "Oh the boy knows the way..." I got so lost coming back, I had to backtrack to the school and then try to meander my way back to Het Nardusboer. It was a nice walk, but it was annoying.

More later.

Oh...Ix...Know you where I can get a Mac cord with a Dutch plug connection, or do I just use a regular adapter for the life of the computer?
draconisregena: (Kiss)
Okay so maybe 3 AM is not so bad of a time to wake up. I got to watch the boy and his father interact from the sidelines. I love that. So then he comes to the computer and looks right at me, asking something about the Camera and me. I think it was if I could see but I can't recall. I said goedemorgen of course cause I could see...and Richard bless him had already turned on the speakers.

We talked, we actually communicated!!! He understood me!!!! He even turned to his Daddy to repeat what I said when he asked. WHEE!
I am of course beyond excited by a tiny little breakthrough that really means nothing.


Sep. 23rd, 2007 03:17 am
draconisregena: (Default)
It's 315 in the morning and I do not know why I am awake. Yesterday or the day before when I was awake at near to this time it was because Kate was calling in her cats. Yeah, at least for that I could go right back to sleep.

I am watching 2 of my favorite people in the world. One is on the floor, playing with something noisy as young boys do. The other is in bed. I want to be in that bed curled up in his arms like I was a few days ago. I hate sleeping alone.

A bit of randomocity:
Vandaag is rood. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCti-yENAG0
It's a fucking Aldi.
The backseat....hee
Im not crying this morning. (an improvement)
No I do not remember the length of my corset lacings...sorry luv.


draconisregena: (Default)

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